


I am Sorrow

by Deanpala



Series: Halloween mud fics [4]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-20
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-20 04:09:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12424728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deanpala/pseuds/Deanpala
Summary: "And then he kissed him.And for the first time in his life, for the briefest of moments, Burr felt….. Different.He felt fire and passion, he felt mad at the British for how they made America feel.More than all this though, he felt anger at himself. He knew in that moment it did not matter what trait he was, he did not wish to be tear filled any longer. He wanted to be happy, and angry, and afraid and trustful and-It was only half a second before Hamilton pushed him away with tears in his own eyes, looking distraught, but it felt like a life time."Few people are the personification of traits. Even fewer are more than one.





	1. Chapter 1

"Pardon me are you Aaron Burr, Sir?"

Burr turned around slowly, knowing full well what to expect after so many times.

"Depends, who's asking?"

"Oh sure, sir, I'm Alexander Hamilton I'm at your service sir. I was wondering how you managed to have three traits. I mean having one is rather rare to start with, two is almost impossible, so how do you manage _three?_ "

"Well I suppose I've no choice. It was simpily a luck of the draw, which I'm sure you can understand with your own traits."

Hamiltons mouth dropped in surprise and Burr chuckled.

"Understanding. It's one of my traits, which I'm surprised you didn't know. What are yours may I ask?"

"I'm both Wrath and Impulse."

Well. That certainly didn't sound like a good combination.

"Let me offer you some free advice-" Right that moment the sons of liberty came in, and Hamilton was immediately intrested and drifted toward them.

"Hey I heard you talking of the revolution, you British trash?"

The bulky dark one laughed, "I'd rather be dead. Who are you sticking your nose in everyone's business kid?"

"Well sorryyyyyy I just want to make sure you're not an idiot geez. I can't help that I'm impulse."

Both of the other men lit up at the mention of a trait and one with a deep accent immediately introduced himself and his friends.

"As in that is actually who you are? Well it is about we met another one of us no? I am Lafayette, this is John Laurens and Hercules Mulligan."

Burr watched them walk away. It stings a little, but thats to be expected when you're the personification of sorrow. It's ok though, he could wait for them to meet again.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you hamburr fangirl for leaving a comment! I am immensely grateful.

The next time they meet is during the war. It’s only natural really, that Sorrow and Wrath would be parts of the revolution, for no war is without those.

It had been a long and stressful day for Burr, and apparently Hamilton noticed because he pulled him aside.

And then he kissed him.

And for the first time in his life, for the briefest of moments, Burr felt….. Different.

He felt fire and passion, he felt mad at the British for how they made America feel.

More than all this though, he felt anger at himself. He knew in that moment it did not matter what trait he was, he did not wish to be tear filled any longer. He wanted to be happy, and angry, and afraid and trustful and-

It was only half a second before Hamilton pushed him away with tears in his own eyes, looking distraught, but it felt like a life time.

“How- why the fuck am I crying Burr? What- what the heck are you?”

Burr didn’t want to answer. He knew though that a lack of understanding was frustrating though, so he did.

“I am sorrow.”

Hamilton left without another word and strayed away from him when he could.

Burr tried to feel mad, but he couldn’t.

All he could feel was the sadness.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'mma be honest, I wasn't gonna post for a while, but a very beautiful comment from justyouwaitforit has encouraged me. This for you yo. Anyway, enjoy.

Burr, despite his better judgement, showed up to Alexanders wedding. It was horrible to see Angelica up there, understanding what she gave up, to see that her passion was not in her own well being, but in Elizas.

Of course when he tried to bring this up to talk to her about it, she punched him. Wow fun.

As he was looking for Alexander (it was rather crowded) one of the brides maids showed up to him.

"HI, nice to meet you, I'm Peggy, and you are????????"

Ah yes. Peggy. If he weren't the embodiment of patience he would have tired of her long ago. As it was however, all he could feel was a slight fondness. Well, and pity, but thats how he felt about everyone, and how everyone felt about Peggy, so it balanced out.

"Yes, I know, we've met before. I'm Aaron Burr, friend of the groom."

"Oh sorry I have a bad memory. Wait groom? Was there a wedding?"

Burr chuckled and sat down with her. There was no rush to find Alexander right this second.

"Yes, it just ended five minutes ago."

"Really? Oh I LOVE weddings, wish I could remember it."

"Well if I get married ever, I'll invite you, hows that sound?"

"That sounds PERFECT I love weddings."

"I know you just said that."

"Oh. Oops. Hey speaking of which, _this_ looks like a wedding! Who got married?"

"Eliza, your sister."

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat, Eliza got married? Awesome! Who to?"

"You know, I'm actually looking for him right now, should I introduce you?"

So Burr talked with Peggy the entire time he was looking for Alexander. It was nice, having someone to talk to and to have listen without the guilt of burdening them, and he didn't mind listening to her rant over and over again about how annoying it was to forget everything. He rather liked Peggy. Besides, he felt like they had something in common. Traits that are shaped by said traits in a negative way? Gotta stick together.

When he finally found Alexander, he could see the annoyance directed at him for bringing Peggy along, as well as the hurt in Peggys eyes, so he sent her to get a drink knowing full well she'd forget.

"So, the tomcats gotten married!"

"To a Schuyler no less."

"I'm surprised it wasn't Angelica, you two seemed to have a thing."

"To be honest, I'm not sure either, but oh well. I have Eliza now."

"Does it frustrate you that shes not a trait?"

"See, I keeping getting ticked off cause everyone keeps saying that, but shes OBVIOUSLY patience! Perfect for reining me in if I get to roudy, don't you think?"

"Well yes I do think those go well together, but she's not-"

Oh. Oh god.

He understood now. Hamilton honestly was so upset to not have Angelica he just assigned his dream trait to Eliza.

Burrs trait.

He wanted to cry, but instead let out a congratulations and left swiftly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Traits usually go with other traits that fit them, or balance them out. For example, Angelica as Passion, fits perfect with Wrath. Wrath and Patience in good measures despite seemingly being opposites even it out. (I was going to make her intellect but then I realized that would make her perfect for Burr and she hates him, so I figured that Passion would highly dislike Sorrow and Patience for obvious reasons) Also I made Peggy Forgetfulness because everyone forgets her XD I'll admit, I didn't mean to make her so cute lol


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you justyouwaitforit and smuglaurens for your comments! And to everyone whos bookmarked, gave kudos to, and read, thank you as well!

Burr himself got happily married, and like he promised, he had Peggy come and paid someone to write the whole thing down for her so she could remember later.

He had never-

No one had ever made him feel this way, and he didn't think any other trait could fit him so well as his Theodosia.

Because she accepted him and all his flaws. She made him feel warm, and loved, and safe, and was it any surprise that acceptance was perfect for understanding and patience?

Well despite it making total sense, it surprised Burr alright. There was no way he deserved such a beautiful creature.

But then, she got sick.

Their beautiful daughter was just a normal human girl, but if anyone could make him feel near as happy as his wife did, it was her.

And he needed her for that. He needed something to keep Theos death at bay in his mind, to keep the sorrow away, to keep HIM from being sorrow.

To keep from being himself.

So he did what he could to be distracted and it almost worked until Alexander ruined it/

He had won the Schuyler seat about a month ago, and Alexander only tried to approach him once, and a touch from Theo kept him from actually doing it.

But as Alex came in angry, Burr knew he couldn't deny it anymore.

Alexander yelled at him, said Burr was no longer his friend.

Acceptance truly was dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Wait, traits can die? Explain that!" I hear you say. Well the traits as people are more a vessels or incarnates or the trait so it still exists, but its either not a physical been, or has become a new person. If a trait is not incarnated though it is less extreme. That's why when Laurens (Liberty) died, the rev set just.... stopped caring about slavery. They didn't feel as much want for liberty anymore


	5. Chapter 5

_Thank you Silver_Rose for leaving a comment!_

When the news about the Reynolds affair reached Burr, he wasn't surprised. Of course impulsiveness would do that.

It didn't stop him from crying for Eliza, but he remembered, he wasn't to fill his role.

He refused to be sorrow.

So he went looking for miss Reynolds. If anyone could sympathize with her and help her with whatever was going on it was him.

She found him first though, asking for him to be her lawyer in her divorce from her husband and maybe help to live independently since her trait made it necessary to leave him and get help.

And Burr, stupid, stupid Burr, messed up the same way everyone else did. He only meant to help her by telling her she didn't have to follow her trait, that it wasn't her fault men were attracted to her and she was back, just because she was lust she didn't have to lust. But in doing this he assumed she was a trait everyone told her she was.

She looked down and said that wasn't her. When Burr asked what she was she looked up with tears in her eyes.

"Helplessness" she said.

Burr did everything in his power to get her out of that relationship and succeeded, but her reputation was never recovered, and she was remembered as lust.


	6. Chapter 6

After all this time, Wrath refused to be a role besides himself.

It had been years since Burr won the Schuyler seat, but Hamilton would not let it go for the life of his, slandering his name for years, and even patience has his limit.

He didn't want to be full of self pity because no one would let him  _(Understanding! They wouldn't let Understanding in on important decisions!)_ into the room where it happened. He refused to be sorrowful.

Hamilton, being Impulsive, of course was the one to challenge him to a duel which surprised no one.

What did surprise Burr though, was right before the duel, Hamilton pulled him aside and hugged him tight, giving him a long kiss.

Burr was filled with rage. This man had taken everything from him, he wouldn't take his life to.

A quiet part of Burrs mind spoke up, telling him not to do this, to concede. He could see in his minds eye the bullet racing toward the man who was just now starting to cry and stuttered for half a second-

Then he pulled the trigger, and the moment crying man fell, all the anger left Burr, and all he could do was sit there and sob.

Sorrow was sorrowful again.

Balance had to be restored to the world, and it was.

Understanding this didn't make Burr feel better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Burr challenged Hamilton but it fit better this way.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the rough start I swear it will get better I just didn't know how to start. Burr is patience, understanding, and sorrow, Laf is optimism, Laurens Justice, and Herc is just a normal human cause I couldn't think of anything.


End file.
